Disclaimer: This is an opinion piece.
Enjoy!
There are apps for everything. Mosquito repellent, virtual nail salon, Hindi jokes and even Crazy Poop. I’m not one to take advantage of the app world and only have a few books, dictionary and reading light on my own phone. However, a special on TV captured my attention.
The latest digital trend is from Taiwan, named the Infant Cries Translator.
New parents can hold their phones about a foot from wailing newborns and within 15 seconds find out why their babies are crying. It is 92 per cent accurate for babies under one month and recommended for babies up to six months old.
Wow. No, I’m not impressed by the app’s accuracy; I’m shocked that such technology exists. Parents just pick up your children! Aren't you on your phones enough? They don’t need iPhones shoved in their faces.
Let’s take a peek from the perspective of a little one. You dropped a deuce and it’s itching down there. You utter a few warning grunts to your Mom. She’s chatting with her sister on the phone, oblivious to your needs. The itch evolves into cold mustard climbing up your back. The stench is nauseating. Your whimpers escalate to cries and within seconds a full-blown meltdown.
“Oh, Lindsay, can I call you back? Gigi is upset,” Mom says as she walks over. Relief washes over you when she reaches out to…What The Formula? Show you a countdown on her Samsung?!?
“Just smell my butt lady!” you wail, but she can’t understand.
After an eternity Mom tucks the screen away and chuckles, “Oh Gigi, it says you are stinky.” She picks you up, cooing and awing before noticing the mustard at your hairline.
Our children aren’t Tamagotchis. What’s next, a feed my baby app, put my baby to sleep app, raise my child app? This is pathetic. I know some of you would argue the usefulness of this app for colicky babies, but honestly don’t bother. My second daughter was colicky for months. It was insanity, but we got through it.
Sometimes technology needs to be left on the shelf and a mother’s touch is what’s best. Sniff bums, check the clock, rock your baby and eventually the crying will cease. In the meantime you are bonding with that screaming bundle of exhaustion. Humans have been doing this for centuries.
I’d be a hypocrite to deny I never use apps in regards to child rearing. I frequently rely on a conversion app when taking temperatures. Also, a popping balloon game can tame Makayla for a few minutes when calm is a must.
Decide for yourself, maybe the crying app would benefit your family. In regards to the crying department, what would be extremely handy are toddler Go-Pros. That way I can decipher between Emmalyne’s shrieks of: she punched me, she touched me, she looked at me, she’s in the same room as me. Now there’s an idea!
The latest digital trend is from Taiwan, named the Infant Cries Translator.
New parents can hold their phones about a foot from wailing newborns and within 15 seconds find out why their babies are crying. It is 92 per cent accurate for babies under one month and recommended for babies up to six months old.
Wow. No, I’m not impressed by the app’s accuracy; I’m shocked that such technology exists. Parents just pick up your children! Aren't you on your phones enough? They don’t need iPhones shoved in their faces.
Let’s take a peek from the perspective of a little one. You dropped a deuce and it’s itching down there. You utter a few warning grunts to your Mom. She’s chatting with her sister on the phone, oblivious to your needs. The itch evolves into cold mustard climbing up your back. The stench is nauseating. Your whimpers escalate to cries and within seconds a full-blown meltdown.
“Oh, Lindsay, can I call you back? Gigi is upset,” Mom says as she walks over. Relief washes over you when she reaches out to…What The Formula? Show you a countdown on her Samsung?!?
“Just smell my butt lady!” you wail, but she can’t understand.
After an eternity Mom tucks the screen away and chuckles, “Oh Gigi, it says you are stinky.” She picks you up, cooing and awing before noticing the mustard at your hairline.
Our children aren’t Tamagotchis. What’s next, a feed my baby app, put my baby to sleep app, raise my child app? This is pathetic. I know some of you would argue the usefulness of this app for colicky babies, but honestly don’t bother. My second daughter was colicky for months. It was insanity, but we got through it.
Sometimes technology needs to be left on the shelf and a mother’s touch is what’s best. Sniff bums, check the clock, rock your baby and eventually the crying will cease. In the meantime you are bonding with that screaming bundle of exhaustion. Humans have been doing this for centuries.
I’d be a hypocrite to deny I never use apps in regards to child rearing. I frequently rely on a conversion app when taking temperatures. Also, a popping balloon game can tame Makayla for a few minutes when calm is a must.
Decide for yourself, maybe the crying app would benefit your family. In regards to the crying department, what would be extremely handy are toddler Go-Pros. That way I can decipher between Emmalyne’s shrieks of: she punched me, she touched me, she looked at me, she’s in the same room as me. Now there’s an idea!