"Everything works to good for those who love God."
Romans 8:28
I was never a fan of lying, even as a child. I’d dread the consequences of telling the truth when I misbehaved, but the thought of lying made me feel worse than the punishment for wrongdoing. Now, at 30 years old, with my life falling apart, I have learned to lie to myself as a survival mechanism. Come on a literary journey with me.
Last year I received a picture in the mail with lyrics scripted on it. It read: Through it all my eyes are on You. My younger sister sent it from British Columbia. We are both in love with Bethel Music, who incorporated their own version of the hymn It is Well With My Soul, with Horatio Spafford’s original.
I framed these words and hung them in my hallway to remind myself that the waves and wind still know His name. When we travel through our personal hells, God is still there and no calamity can overtake us. The song goes on to say far be it from me to not believe, even when my eyes can’t see. And this mountain that’s in front of me will be thrown into the midst of the sea.
So where does lying come in to play with all this? It has not been well with me, yet my mantra has been, “It is well with my soul.” When my Kilimanjaro is too huge to crumble at my feet, I tell myself it is well with my soul. When I cannot untangle myself from life’s struggles, I tell myself it is well with me. Through it all I keep my eyes on Jesus and He will make all things well (Romans 8:28). This song is on repeat in my head while I navigate through unchartered waters of my family turmoil.
Out of curiosity I read into the history of Horatio Spafford’s hymn. In the late 1800’s Spafford, a successful lawyer, was financially ruined due to the Great Chicago Fire. He decided to relocate to Europe and sent his wife and four daughters ahead of him. While sailing across the Atlantic, their sea vessel collided with another and quickly sank. Spafford’s wife survived, but the girls drowned. During his Atlantic journey, Spafford wrote It Is Well With My Soul while sailing past the location of his daughters' deaths. A man who lost everything in life picked himself up and chose to believe it is well. What strength he possessed to praise, trust and believe in God through it all.
Last year I received a picture in the mail with lyrics scripted on it. It read: Through it all my eyes are on You. My younger sister sent it from British Columbia. We are both in love with Bethel Music, who incorporated their own version of the hymn It is Well With My Soul, with Horatio Spafford’s original.
I framed these words and hung them in my hallway to remind myself that the waves and wind still know His name. When we travel through our personal hells, God is still there and no calamity can overtake us. The song goes on to say far be it from me to not believe, even when my eyes can’t see. And this mountain that’s in front of me will be thrown into the midst of the sea.
So where does lying come in to play with all this? It has not been well with me, yet my mantra has been, “It is well with my soul.” When my Kilimanjaro is too huge to crumble at my feet, I tell myself it is well with my soul. When I cannot untangle myself from life’s struggles, I tell myself it is well with me. Through it all I keep my eyes on Jesus and He will make all things well (Romans 8:28). This song is on repeat in my head while I navigate through unchartered waters of my family turmoil.
Out of curiosity I read into the history of Horatio Spafford’s hymn. In the late 1800’s Spafford, a successful lawyer, was financially ruined due to the Great Chicago Fire. He decided to relocate to Europe and sent his wife and four daughters ahead of him. While sailing across the Atlantic, their sea vessel collided with another and quickly sank. Spafford’s wife survived, but the girls drowned. During his Atlantic journey, Spafford wrote It Is Well With My Soul while sailing past the location of his daughters' deaths. A man who lost everything in life picked himself up and chose to believe it is well. What strength he possessed to praise, trust and believe in God through it all.